Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’. I have come to find out that some people actually LIKE plastic flowers in their yard. Well, isn’t this a news flash? Are they out of their minds? I am appalled at this revelation! Why, oh why, oh why would someone put plastic flowers in their yards?
Case in point, we have this homeowner in our community, who shall remain nameless, who likes to stick plastic flowers in hanging baskets and flower beds all over their front yard for everyone to see! They are the cheap kind and it looks horrendous! They clash with the real plants and they leave them out all year around and it really looks stupid when it snows! Where do people get these wacky ideas? Where, oh where, oh where? Now, who could it be? Could it be ... SATAN? (haunting echo)
Let’s all just settle down here, shall we? I have an answer to this dilemma. Let’s just snip this problem to the bud and get rid of these pesky plastic flowers once and for all! One night while I’m riding in the Neighborhood Watch Patrol Vehicle I’ll make sure I stop at the offending site.
I’ll have my partner cover me with the Browning .50 caliber M2 machine gun while I remove every one of those *%#@ plastic flowers. Later I shall burn them in my back yard fire pit and make smores.
(Church Lady does her “Superior Dance” as she struts to organ music.)
Plastic? Tacky! Bleck!
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