And now it's time for Church Chat . . .

Church Lady: Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’. Recently Rebecca was walking her children to school and was accosted by a nut who wanted her to drop what she was doing and help her catch her dog. Since Rebecca has a child who is extremely scared of dogs told the lady that she could not help. The lady did not like that one bit and did something which was totally uncalled for, made a face and flipped her hand at Rebecca which was something like giving her the finger. Where do people get these wacky ideas? Where oh, where? Who could have told her to do such a stupid and deplorable thing? Now, who could it be? Could it be ... SATAN? (haunting echo)

Church Lady: Alrighty and now, speaking about potty mouth women, let's welcome my first guest, none other than overzealous nut Mrs. Millbrook, the lady that wanted Rebecca to help her catch her puppy.

[Mrs. Millbrook sits on the couch next to the Church Lady.]

Church Lady: Welcome, Mrs. Millbrook.

Mrs. Millbrook: Well, thank you for having me here, Church Lady, it'll give me a chance to share with you this unfortunate incident that almost got my puppy killed.

Church Lady: Well, let's recap what happened, shall we? Let's see . . . you lost your puppy and you wanted Rebecca who was walking her children to school to help you find it. Correct?

Mrs. Millbrook: Yes, and she refused to help me! Can you believe that! My poor puppy could have gotten run over by a car!

Church Lady: Well, isn't that special? That was a nice little speech, we all have a tear in our eye, don't we? Well, you failed to see that Rebecca’s children could have gotten run over by a car if she helped you find your puppy. Also, some people are quite afraid of dogs and cannot be anywhere near them. Did you think of that, Mrs. Millbrook? Hmmmmmmmmmmm? Plus you did something offensive to Rebecca in front of her little children. Was that justifiable?

Mrs. Millbrook: I was, uh, provoked.

Church Lady: Mmm-hmm. And did that little temper get us here, Mrs. Millbrook?

Mrs. Millbrook: I may have a temper, but Rebecca could have helped me find my puppy.

Church Lady: Ohhhh . . . so we just do fowl things anytime we feel like it, hmmmmm? Have we ever heard "Turn the other cheek"?

Mrs. Millbrook: Alright, look! I did not come here to be insulted!

Church Lady: And you totally forget that you insulted Rebecca in front of her children.

Mrs. Millbrook: Look, I'm warning you, Church Lady!

Church Lady: Oh, what a treat. We're getting to see some of that famous temper, aren't we? And the cameras are here to catch it - how conveeeeenient!

Mrs. Millbrook: Listen, you'd better f****** lay off of me!

Church Lady: Apparently some of us have to use the F word to be funny. Well isn’t that special? Well, it looks like it makes you feel a liiiiiiiiiiitle bit superior.

[Mrs. Millbrook stands up and huffs off the stage.]

Church Lady: Well, that just goes to show you she has no interest in apologizing to Rebecca. Mrs. Millbrook thinks she can do no wrong and she is better than anyone else. But we all know better, don’t we?

[Church Lady stands up and does her “Superior Dance” as she struts to organ music.]