And now it's time for Church Chat . . .

Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’. As you well know, hubby is the HOA president of our liiiiiiiittle subdivision. Being the president his responsibilities include presiding at all meetings of the Board of Directors, making sure that orders and resolutions of the Board are carried out, co-signing all checks, and making sure everyone is abiding by the Declaration. We recently had a property inspection and hubby had to notify the offenders that they were in violation of the Declaration and that they must correct these infractions within 30 days. Who told these homeowners they could neglect their homes and property making the whole neighborhood look bad and bring down property values in our subdivision? Now, who could it be? Could it be ... SATAN? (haunting echo) When the homeowners bought their homes they signed the appropriate papers that they agreed to comply with the Declaration. Their homes are the biggest investments they will ever make and wouldn’t you think it prudent for them to preserve its value and maintain their property to protect their investment? It seems ridiculous that these homeowners have to be told to fix their homes and properties. You can just imagine the backlash we receive from hubby having this position. Anyhoooooooo hubby notified a few of these deadbeat homeowners via email and they didn’t like it one bit. In retaliation hubby received nasty emails and hence I won’t answer the phone or door.

Yes, this is ludicrous, but it seems to be the norm for these lazy and obnoxious homeowners. Just the other day, someone was banging on our door and of course I didn’t answer it. I peeked out the kitchen window and saw a car that I did not recognize so I ignored the repeated knocking on the door which then was replaced by them ringing my doorbell. I still ignored the offending racket then I heard the person open our storm door and turn our doorknob trying to open our front door. Well, as you can imagine that scared the $#@% out of me and I practically jumped out of my skin. The person left in a huff and drove off and I finally let out a breath of relief.

Five minutes later I was heading out of the door for my power walk and tried to forget the whole incident. Wouldn’t you know it; lo and behold I found the car in our neighborhood that was at my house just minutes before in a neighbor’s driveway.

So there we are. All my senses screamin’ “GET THE RED RYDER BB GUN AND KNOCK ON THEIR DOOR!!!” But something told me that it wouldn’t be enough retaliation to their terrible deed.

Alrighty, then. We can handle this. Late tonight I shall get some grass killer and come back to the nasty neighbor’s house. I will then let him know what a complete #$%@& he is by writing it in his yard.

Just thinking about this makes me tingly all over.

(Church Lady does her “Superior Dance” as she struts to organ music.)