And now it's time for Church Chat . . .

Church Lady:  Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’.  To homeschool or not to homeschool, that is the question.  This liiiiiiiittle dilemma has plagued the minds of parents all across America.  This phenomenon reared its ugly head due to the fact that our public schools are not meeting the individual needs of our children as they promised.  Well, isn’t this a news flash?  I don’t know how many times I have heard and witnessed these promises by the school system to parents of special needs children that their children will receive FAPE (Free and Appropriate Education) in the least restrictive environment and of course none of their promises ever pans out.  Sometimes your child will receive certain services such as Speech and your child’s IEP will state that they will have 30 minutes per week.  What can 30 minutes per week do?  NUTHIN’!  It is really just a Band-Aid to hopefully get your child just to pass and go on to the next grade level.  But as parents of special needs children we want and deserve more for our children!   Yes, indeedy!

Church Lady:  Just the other day, Rebecca was accosted by a Special Education Coordinator who was most likely demonic.  This so-called “educator” did not like it that Rebecca had chosen to homeschool her daughter and thought this was a “control thing”.  Well, apparently some of us got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  Where do these educators get these wacky ideas?  Where oh, where?  Who could have told her to say such a stupid and deplorable thing?  Now, who could it be? Could it be ... SATAN? (haunting echo)

Church Lady:  Alrighty and now, speaking about demonic school administrators, let's welcome my first guest, none other than Mrs. Spalding, the Special Education Coordinator that thinks parents homeschool their children because it is a “control thing”.

[Mrs. Spalding sits on the couch next to the Church Lady.]

Church Lady: Welcome, Mrs. Spalding.

Mrs. Spalding: Well, thank you for having me here, Church Lady, it'll give me a chance to finally clear up this misunderstanding.

Church Lady: Oh, these kinds of derange comments from educators happen all that time and parents have listen to this *&$# with a smile plastered on their faces so their child can receive a good education.  It is just appalling!  If parents dare to say or do something you don’t like, you educators pop up and say something demeaning and don’t stop, just like some nasty bacterial fungus you get at a gas station bathroom.  You just simply won't go away, will you?

Mrs. Spalding:  Well, we strive to educate all students and we have to deal with situations that are sometimes sensitive.  

Church Lady:  We like ourselves, don't we?  This situation has been a knot in my corset and a hair in my Cream of Wheat for years.

Mrs. Spalding:  If you would just give me a chance . . . 

Church Lady:  Just relax! [opens and closes her hand mimicking a mouth talking]. There's your mouth - it's moving.  Let's just keep it nice and buttoned real tight for just a second. You educators just like to talk, talk, talk, talk. Well, listen, Mrs. Spalding, I think you educators need to go back to school and learn how to treat parents and children better.  We are tired of being treated like something you find on the bottom of your shoe.  It’s time for you to think about our children and us parents and do what is right!  And if you don’t start treating us nice and following through with your promises we will start bringing a Red Ryder BB gun to all IEP meetings and pop y’all a good one!  That will give ya something to squeeeeeeeeeeal about!   

[Church Lady stands up and does her “Superior Dance” as she struts to organ music.]