And now it's time for Church Chat . . .

Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’. As you know we are having “problems” within our liiiiiiiittle community with various car break-ins and hoodlums traipsing through our neighborhood trying to find an unlocked door in someone’s unsuspecting home. Just the other night one homeowner came home at 10 PM and saw two thugs in the bed of his neighbor’s truck trying to break in it. The Good Samaritan’s headlights caught the ruffians in the act and they scampered away like roaches do when you turn on the lights without incidence. So we didn’t get caught stealing, how conveeeenient! Well, I'm gonna have to say a little prayer against them for that one, okay? (Whispers her prayer.) Well, I hope someone's beginning to feel a prickly sensation in their backside. 

I know what you are thinking, this could happen anywhere, but this kind of behavior is not the norm for our neighborhood. No, indeedy. I keep thinking of the little girl down the street who was watching the new Muffets DVD on TV one night in her family room. Her parents were upstairs (Lord, only knows what they were doing) and some fiend turned the doorknob on the door right beside her that goes outside. You can imagine how scared this tike was! I bet to this day Kermit the Frog gives her nightmares.

Anyhooooooo, I have been pestering hubby to install motion detector spotlights in the back yard. We presently have motion detector carriage lights in the front of the house on either side of the garage plus Malibu Lights all up the front walk which are so bright that it looks like an airport runway. I think motion detector spotlights in the back yard will add extra safety and security and make me feel a whole lot better. These will turn on automatically when something or someone moves within the vicinity of the exterior of my home. This means if an intruder is nearby, their movement will likely prompt a security light to turn on, which leaves the intruder exposed. GOTCHA!!!!

Hubby of course was not “keen” on the idea. I don’t know why he is so against them. They can’t be that hard to install. He thinks they will help the burglars see what they are doing while breaking into our home. To this I say “BITE ME!” Security lights are very cost effective and a great addition to any home security system. They flood the exterior of your home with light at the slightest detection of movement and will send a clear message to would-be-thieves that this house is protected. Yes, siree!

Well, Hubby got tired of my persistent nagging and finally installed the motion detector spotlights. It says on the box that it will only take a few minutes to install, but of course hubby took allllllllllllll afternoon and then some making us have supper late. He fiddled with them for hours during the night turning them on and off, on and off until 11:30 PM. It was like a disco light show and I bet the neighbors thought we were having one grand time over here.

Now, how can I persuade Hubby to get us a home security system? I can just hear his objections, but I don’t care. I think we need one ASAP! I sometimes think that Hubby doesn’t want to hear anyone else’s opinion, but his own. (Puts hands over her ears.) Well, Hubby, I can’t hear youuuuuuuuuu!. Alrighty, I think I feel better now.

Alrighty, then. We can handle this. I found some online that I can buy and install myself while he is away at work. Well, isn't that special?


(Church Lady does her “Superior Dance” as she struts to organ music.)