Hello, I’m the Church Lady and this is ‘Church Chat’. Unfortunately there have been some suspicious activities within our community. We have had items stolen from cars and we have had reports of unsavory people trollin’ the area with flashlights trying to open doors of some unsuspecting homeowners. This heinous activity has wreaked havoc within our liiiiiiiittle community and many are quite scared and angry about what is going on. Let’s all just settle down here, shall we? Alrighty, then. We can handle this. I have looked into the numerous home security systems and I am appalled by how much they cost and their monthly fees for their monitoring service. I have therefore taken it upon myself to inform the homeowners in our area with some ideas that should help discourage any potential issues that may occur. These tips are cheap and easy to do at any home and they will deter any would-be thief.
THE EQUIPMENT: The list of the DIY security measures necessary to protect your home and the many valuables and investments within.
1. Make a Crime Scene at Your Door- Stop the thief from coming into your home with Police Line Do Not Cross tape and chalk outline of a dead body. A little blood (red paint) added to the crime scene adds that “special” touch.
2. Never leave notes on your door such as “Gone Shopping”- Try posting a preemptive message to any would-be intruders. Enter at your own risk and don't say you weren't warned!
3. Organize a Neighborhood Watch Program- Make sure you have people signed up to patrol the neighborhood at night. Have a Patrol Vehicle and patrol the neighborhood.
I think this concludes what is necessary to protect your home. I think this will help make everyone in the neighborhood feel safe and secure.
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